baby..
today was a wonderful wonderful day.. like always.. as long as im with you. =)) baby. i realised you've really changed me so so much.. that i've lost myself completely.. i have nothing left, but only traces of you. (: your eyes.. your breath.. your smile.. your voice.. your warmth.. all linger in mie soul.
baby. thank you for today. (: when we sat on the steps.. when you lay on my lap.. and when your gaze was transfixed on mine.. all i could feel.. was your love. sweet.. sweet love.. all i could see.. was your adoring smile.. and all i could hear.. was the tune that held our hearts together..
when you laid there.. looking up at me.. i suddenly felt so protective of you.. (: and only at that point of time.. you look so tired.. so vulnerable.. seemingly, you entrusted yourself to my care. the way you looked at me and smiled.. touches every inch of my heart.. and it was your smile.. so genuine.. so heartwarming.. that suddenly made me realise.. how much we've been through.. and how strong we've been..
baby.. when you said all those words.. you always seemed to know what im thinking about.. you seemed to grasp every single detail that is fleeting through my mind. and always managed to reassure me time and again, without my asking. it is this concern.. this care.. this sensitivity that made me so so so touched.. all over again.. and rarely, do i see this vulnerable side of you.. as you laid on me, smiling ever so so sweetly.. you captivated me again (:
i want to hold you tight.. and never never let go.. your smile.. your gaze makes me melt.. it makes my heart palpitate and it is this that makes me feel so so so blessed.. so so blessed to have you as my boyfriend.
darling.. my darling.. whenever i lie on your shoulder in the bus and we fall asleep together.. in each other's embraces.. that happiness always burgeon and brew within me. even minors and trivial matters inject contentedness and joy in me.. as long as my partner is you. as long as i am with you.. as long as you are beside me.. as long as.. you are the one.. spending eternity with me.
that all other things.. dont matter anymore.. its as if time is on a standstill.. and the world exists of only you and me. we laughed, cried and smiled our way through these 9 months.. and im so so sure of myself.. and us.. that i feel myself falling for you all over again, each new day. when you're away from me,
Because im afraid of the moment when you'll leave. And i want to memorise every part of you. i want to remember every detail of yours and i want to pull you to my side and never never let you stray..
baby.. i just want to say thank you.. for being such a sweet sweet and considerate and trusting boyfriend. you've become my everything. my world. my one and only. trust me on this. you can deny everything else, but you cant deny that i'd be crippled and devastated and hopeless without you by my side.
im just here to tell you.. baby.. i really love you so so much.
love is beautiful. because i met you.
it is your grace and glory, that painted this rainbow.
JOLYN.
Love is like an art piece
Even the smallest bit can be so beautiful.
mie dearest. nine months soon soon. while you're still walking home, i'll type this to try to light up a smile on mie baby's face.
its more than words, to pen down how i feel now.
because mie heart speaks of nothing but love. nothing but happiness.
its pure bliss. and its this heaven that you've given mie.
its this promise and this vow, to stay vigil by mie side.
topped with your constant spills of concern over minor minor details.
mie world, once a black and white. and now youve splashed it with colours.
colours of passion (:
mie heart, once without its tune. and now you've composed it, our rythm.
our little song of love. two hearts, dancing to a tune of one.
mie eyes, once blind. and now you've brought visions of hope and enabled mie to see a future, a future of you and i.
i can see nothing, but a world that speaks of your glory, your grace and your love.
mie pages. only inscripted with writings. writings of you and i.
and our memories, nothing but sinful joy.
darling.. both of us.. have changed so so much. and we've mt both our ups and our downs. But we rode over these together. together. (: heart to heart, hand in hand, we've journeyed on, till now. till today. my dear. listen. my reason is
you. you are my creator, my originator. and our scriptwriter. because you control my every emotion. my every thought.
you broke down the barrier i had. my front is disintegrated because you offered me in its place,
true true love. So im naked. because you've seen me inside out. and yet you guided this vulnerable me, to find light. to find truth. to seek eternity.
my dearest.. i've been out with you everyday since the past few months.. and i want you to know that despite this erosion of time.. despite its passing..
that kokyong, i am very proud of you. and even more proud of us. my dear. i still need you to know that my love will never fade. and now, its still brewing, its burgeoning and my feelings are growing stronger and stronger each time my heart beats. (:
my love. you really.. are my everything.
my heart says it all.
- in terms of kokyong. (: im all about you. im
all about you.
shuo bu shang wei shen me
wo bian de hen zhu dong
ru guo ai shang yi ge ren
shen me dou zhi de qu zuo
wo xiang da sheng xuan bu
dui ni yi yi bu she
qian zhe ni de shou
you yi zhen mo ming gan dong
wo xiang jiu zhe yang qian ze ni de shou bu fang kai
ai neng bu neng gou yong yuan dan chun mei you bei ai
ni kao zhe wo de jian bang
ni zai wo xiong kou shui zhao
ai neng bu neng gou jian jian dan dan mei you shang hai
xiang zhe yang de sheng huo - wo ai ni.. ni ai wo. (:JOLYN dedicates this post to KOKYONG.
cos everytime you cry , i will be there to make your face light .. i will be tat smile, to make your heart melt .. so as to take you to the land of mine ..
even if i am nort here by your side, my heart still remains in your inside.. when the sky is bright , you will see our love takes flight , as high as the birds soaring in the sky..
dinner by the candlelight, you and me looked each other in the eyes , no words needed, just you with me , i am alright with anything ..
whenever i am sitting in the bus, ur call nv fails to get me by , it is your voice , that i nid to hear .... to soothe my ever 'missing' heart .. as time goes by .. i grew to noe .. tat i am alwaes tat reliant on you ..
you noe ? ... i had reached a feeling tat i cant even described .. its so warming,its so comfy ,tat i cant tame it anymore .. i wanna make it known to the world , i wanna let you see my life .. tat without you ,i see no light .. and its just a piece of darkness surrounding my sky ..
whenever i look at the stars at night, it brings memories by my mind. its filled with you , everything about you , that i wanna see you with my eyes . its seems so yesterdae when we just coincide .. and our fates start to bide. when the days past, we gain experience , as our love grows over every night.
dear ..
i so much wanna promote with you .. thats why i am trying so hard .. i noe wad you have done for me to be able to stdy .. its so so much .. and i reli thank you for them .. i also wanna see [promoted] on my slip .. i also wanna take your hand and proceed .. i am trying .. i am reli trying .. so as to stay in the same world as you .. so scared tat i have to leave your world .. all these are stressing me out .. but its you tat is keep me going .. tat i am able to smile .. and caarry on with my studying ..
darling .. i love you .. ttell me you are not gonna leave me .. cos .. if you did .. you are making one guy dead in the soul .. and i swear .. my heart will still tingle for you .. not shedding abit .. when times goes on .. =D
wo yao jie hun .. xin liang de jiu shi ni .. =) ..... how i wish i am old enuff .. finaically supported .. so i can marry dear and live happily ever after .... =DD ..
back to reality.. i am having exams now .. hai .. but todae .. made me realise ... school isnt school if the person you wanna see isnt there .. a feeling of emptiness ... abit disappointed .. SA isnt SA without you ... .. Missing jolYn badly ..
darling ... i cant and will nv try to let you go .. cos i cant live without you .. everytime i think abt you .. all i noe there's a smile lit up on my face .. =) .. darling .. todae i made another promise with you .. but this promise is kinda special one .. made with our fourth finger interwined ..
you stepped into my life so deep within no one have ever step into b4 ..
you brought me things tat i have nv experience b4 ..
you gave me all i needed ..you became part of me and for this i hate you ..
cos you made me afraid .. afraid i would lose you one dae ..
you made me realise wad a selfish person i am..how possessive one can be ..
you change me .. to a person i have nv seen myself b4 ..
you invaded my thoughts .. controlled my mind .. and captured my heart
bonded by the heart .. ringed tgt by our ring .. we will neva part ..my hand will nv released its grip on euu .. it will onli get tighten by the time ..in the midst of all this .. i jus wanna sae .. i love you and no matter wad happens .. i will be by ur side .. and will nv let euu drop a single tear agn .. =D ..
familar ? .. well .. i hafta sae all these nv change one bit but it will onli get more deeper ... and more and more effects on me ..
there will be one dae .. under the moonlit sky .. i hold ur hand in my and we stroll along the red line ..
the line of tying our lives tgt .. the line where the destination is a life of OUR own ..
i am becoming more and more greedy .. as it is written all over my face .. tat i wan you .. i so badly wan you .. i wan you so bad .. i wanna see your prescene ard me every tick of the clock ..
i am afraid of losing you .. because you live ... thus .. i live .. =DD ..
~evol si reve os teews,01802006-01804eva~
it was so dark .... i was just groping around .. hoping to feel my wae about .. i was so alone .. so lonely .. and memories of the past just scanned past my mind .. i yelled for it to 'stop' .. i scream at the top of my lungs .. but no one hear me .. i began to despair .. i began to break down .. i was dropping .. slowly onto my knees to fulfil the position of admitting defeat.. time goes by .. and the darkness began to shape itself into a kinda sharp blade .. piercing me now and den .. i am living in a hell of feelings .. yet no one to share ...... i closed my mind and it was you i could think of ..... but you were so so so far awae .. i dunno why .. i dunno how to make you come nearer . suddenly .. the thoughts changed themselves into those at your house .. where i found warmth .. you were there. your family .. so warm .. so nice .. but yet .. it was all images of you all waving .. like saeing a last gudbye ..............
i dreamt of this last nitez .. i seriously dun like it .. cos it haunts me around for the rest of the dae .. but still .. hai .. nbm .. =D .. i guess i have to live with it ba ..
i cant see my baby todae .. feel so uneasy .. like something missing .. this mean i am addicted to her .. cos .. seeing her has become a habit unknowingly .. baby .. i miss you .. also .. todae is the last dae of holidaes .. and i can and conclude .. in a proud manner too .. tat .. this holidae i am so so so happi .. cos i am able to see my baby's smile and eyes almost everydae .. the daes i stayed over was so so unforgettable .. a smile will lit up whenever i thought of us cooking .. there are some photos to keep to ... photos are the keys tat unlock the happi moments you have .. =D .. darling .. i just have to sae to you ... i
love you so so so much .. and also ... my heart already had its owner .. and its you ..
wo ren ding ni shi wo de laopo le .. =D ..
baby .. its just you ..
i officially declare ... i am
bewitched .. hookwinked by the smile on her face .. when will love ever have a limit ? .. cos i am falling deeper and deeper as the time ticks .. with no return ticket .. WORSE .. i am walking into this myself .. gosh .. i so much wanna protected her whenever i look at her .. i mean .. i dunno why .. the outline structure of her makes me wanna hug her so badly .. to restricted her by my side .. to be see .. use ... love .. talk ..smile at me onli .. =) .. okie .. maybe one dae in the future .. i might try kidnapping my dear jolyn to my house .. =D ..
i alwaes wondered the feeling of holding hands with the gal you love so deeply .. and stroll home under the shades of the moonlight with the roadlights company . the cars whizzed by letting off a gentle breeze ... gosh .. this .. i dreamt in the past .. but nort animore .. i realise .... darling ... you are reli my dream come true .. the faceless gal whom i dreamt all along .. was you .. b4 meeting you ... life's a blur .. i didnt noe wad i was here for .. wads a true smile is .. yes .. ppl can sae they heard laughter frm me b4 .. but it just wasnt the feeling i was looking for .. till ..
jolyn .. i see myself within you .. i so much wanna be the one .. tat ur eyes reflect when being look into .. to be able to gazed at
you ... swimming in thoughts abt
us .. and keeping
me, my heart intact and beating at a fast beat.
reli .. i swear to those reading this .. you should see her smile .. and her big intense eyes .. B4 she became my gf ... now .. NO CHANCE .. cos .. i am gonna keep her smiles and her everything to myself .. cos .. i am one greedy bf .. =) . aniwae .. this entire june holidaes .. was a uquie and special one .. i had nv spent almost a month seeing and looking at the same person .. nort tat i am complaining .. in fact .. i am screaming at the top of lungs .. asking for god's help to let me see jolyn every single sec .. =D .. and to let myself sink even deeper .. into her life ..
looking back at these few months .. memories are everywhere .. i just wanna hold you close and whisper into ur ear .. '
i love you' .. and let us walk towards forever .. i am lonely no more .. cos whenever i am feeling low .. i look ard me and i noe .. there is a gal i am made for .. and i noe i love her .. over the mountains and rivers .. i will find her still ... just like the ocean nids its tide .. i noe i nid you .. =D ..
i didnt mention this to you b4 .. tat .. you actually made every dream i had of a perfect relationship come true ... its nort onli your actions .. and your love tat made this so special .. its also the wae you let me in ... lead me into the world of us .. a world where i can jus put down my strong front and crumble in front of you without hesitation .. baby .. i am so much in love .. =DD ..
"Greedy i may be .. but i prayed to god .. in a selfish manner ... to let me stay this wae .. to stay the greedy me .. to let me stay selfish .. cos i wanna hold you in my arms .. even though i dun like this part of me .. the feeling of wanna owe jolyn shall never change .. "
baby .. i am in love .. deepest of all .. with you ....... i love my gf .. jolyn ... you .. =)
every couple got their own uqiue stories behind them ... romantic or not .. each relationship got a untold tale .. but i hereby swear .. tat .. mine .. my story with
Her , was nort by chance .. and to me is the best ever . =)
4 months ago,
She caught my eye .. she reli did. Its nort her appearance , its nort her beauty .. its her smile tat awed me. No. nort just tat . her eyes too ... make me ponder .. when can i ever noe her ? ..
nOw,
i noe her now .. and she is my girlfriend .. but her smile still awed me .. still eye-catching. esp her eyes , stuck me so so deeep tat i can tell you , if i was an alien, i would fall for her too . but still ... she still makes me ponder ... ponder .. how can i ever be even more close to her .. ?
but .. one thing i dun like abt .. is after i knew her .. a feeling deep within me began to aroused - meaning jealousy. hai .. i mean .. this feeling is getting worse and worse .. and i will get jealousy so ever easily .. like a testimony being writen for her by someone .. containing the words i miss you .. hai .. but still .. i guess its my problem .. but a note to be taken ... this means i love her so so so much .. AND ... i am greedy .. over her .. =) ..
i wan her to be mine onli .. for me to see onli .. and for me to talk onli .. all this .. i wan .. and i wan every more .. i wan every piece of her .. in fact .. i would kidnapped her if there is no police in this world .. =) ..
baby ... happi 4 mths .. hope you like the photo album and the teddy bear =D .. i love you so much .. em .. i having a hard time opening my eyes e .. so i guess its time to stop .. will lengthen this post tml .. =) .. k .. nitez dairy .. and let me whisper you a secret b4 i sign off ........................ I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND .. and its you .. baby .. its you , JoLyn .
i uttered a silent prayer for my dearest to have a gud dream .. =) .. and for me .. to dream abt us .. clearly madly truy obsessed with you . darling .. =D
HOLIDAE !! ... yAy ... holidae finally came .. waited so long .. after failing practically every test .. =( .. i finally got a break .. but still .. we hafta study .. cos exams ard july .. straight after our holidaes .. sigh ...
i miss so mani ppl ..jo.. zhiyong ..jeremy .. 4H'05 .. gess .. zhijuan .. jen .. everyone .. but i am now in a happi mood .. i dunno why .. haha .. maybe s due to cuishan's blog tat gimme a happi feeling ? .. =x.
bASketball !!em.. well this is the name list for the current jc1s batch XD .. nort by any order ..
1 .wilson
2 .keynas
3 .shaopeng
4 .justin
5 .jianming
6 .alwin
7 .alwyn
8 .siongwei
9 .kokyong
10.kuanwei
11.huansong
12.shawn
13.kevin
14.jingyu
there ...!! .. introducing basketball boys'06 .. !! .. btw .. i reli hate the stupid air alert exercise .. its some sort of exercise tat suppose to make one jump higher and taller .. but i think when do tgt as a team .. the feeling's great !! .. next time i will take pics of us doing the jumping exercise ..
~we do nort have the strongest coach..we do nort have the strongest players..BUT we haf the strongest team!~
to jo:
dearest !! .. thank god our realtionship is going on ever so strong !! .. =DD .. you were alwaes there to hold my hand whenever i stretch my hand out .. em .. .i think we are more den words .. reli ..nothing .. no words can express our relationship now .. its beyond the word love le .. =DD .. i will upload pics of us soon .. =p ..
oh ya !! ... wed sleepover .. !! .. cant wait for wed to come so i can spend an entire dae with you .. =DD .. but rite now .. i am contented to be filled with thoughts abt you and the upcoming wed =) ..
~the thought of you breathe a new intake of life into me .. you were there when no one ever was~
i am beginning to feel tired attending lessons in sch .. i mean i like sch .. i love sajc .. but i just simply dun carry a single affection for the teachers and lecturers there !! ... i mean .. with teachers like lee bian tai .. mrs lee .. and the mr yong .. (too bad , lifesux) .. wad more can one ask for ? .. the onli consolation is tat our pe teacher is reli awesome .. XD .. credits to mr ng for making me looking forward to pe all the time !! .. =) ..
partly another reason tat made me come sch is my class..my frenz.. my basketball team .. and the most imprt factor ...... my one and onli jolyn !! .. you noe sometimes you reli reli dowanna attend sch ... when ur mind is racing to find excuses to pon .. soething like .. "i am nort feeling too well .. i haf a aching back .. sometimes even with the lamest excuse ever .. - i thought todae is a sundae so i dun hafta go sch !! ~ LOL .. but whenever i thought tat i am able to see her in sch .. i will pull myself up and drag myself to sch .. wa ? .. do i sound like a kid in distress ? .. if i do .. please let me stay this wae den .. cos .. i wan her to remain the onli reason i go sch !! .. =) .. love my darling .. =D ..
btw .. if anione of you out there noe a cure for jealousy .. please call and tell me immediately !! .. gosh .. i realise how easily jealous i can be .. sometimes even over minor things .. i simply will be veri jealous when its jus another guy fren of jo tagging her blog !! .. this hafta stop !! .. help help .. someone help me .. !! .. but for meanwhile .. i just hafta control myself .. =) .. OH !! ... dunno why .. i suddenly remembered those chocolate strawberries sold in esplanade .. i miss them .. in fact .. i miss esplanade .. =( .. there were so mani mani memories shared with jo at there tat when i think of esplanade .. all i think will be you .. =D ..
~love isnt spoken by words .. it is a feeling tat comes frm the heart .. ~
em .. i still dunno how to upload pics into my post .. so someone please teach me how k .. =) .. one last thing ..
KOKYONG LOVES JOLYN..~evol si reve os teews~ .. 56596.64 .. ever so strong .. <3>
this is a notice to everyone... yes .. a notice to everyone .. erm .. i wanna send a msg tat .. to tell you all ppl out there tat ... I LOVE MY GIRLFREN !! ... she is cute .. she is pretty .. she is attractive .. she is cute .. BUT, she is MINE !! .. =DD
the moon came and the sun went .. how mani times have you seen it .. time flies and its already our third month together.. XD .. i am not complaining anything .. IN FACT .. i can conclude tat i had alrdy settle down .. i am so xinfu( blissful) now ... so happi .. gal .. you invaded my thoughts .. reli you did .. and gosh !! .. i wonder how mani times i sae "i love my gf" to my friends everydae !! .. MUACKZ ...
you know .. i had nv feel so helpless b4 .. esp those times when you feeling angry .. upset over things which i cant reli help .. i can onli stand there .. look at you .. hold your hand and give it a gentle squeeze.. those times .. were the times when you are reli reli far awae from me .. i tried to stretch my hand to gasp you .. but you were unreachable .. jus simply standing there ...............
BUT .. i will persist with you ... i will give you a push .. XDD .. like mention in my previous posts .. and support you like i alwaes do ..
if god had arrange for me to love you .. i am helpless against it .. i can onli follow his script willingly .. cos .. i personally feel .. i was made to love you .. to protect you .. and in my views .. you were made to complete me instead .. i will hold you tight to me .. and sae the things i used to sae .. i cannot forgive myself .. for nort looking at you earlier .. for nort walking into your life a sec faster .. the world is alwaes turning .. the time is alwaes ticking .. even if one is down and out .. no one will ever wait for you .. but i will turn the clock back if i can ... will rotate the world backwards if i could .. to the time where i can noe you earlier .. loving you is the route i will take no matter wad... no matter where and when ... i will still love you .. trust me ..
i think i have fallen so deep for you tat .. everysec you nort with me .. i feel so lonely and uneasy .. its as though something tat is mine is being taken awae .. in this case is you .. i am seriously addicted to you .. oh ya .. i hafta mention ... HAPPI 3 MONTHS !! ... muackz ... love you hell loads .. thankfully .. our love is going so strong .. XD .. .i am sure .. we will last .. till eternity .. =D .. darling darling .. i love you .. you are the onli warmth i seek in this cold world .. the onli light tat i can find among these darkness ... the onli gal tat features in my heart .. everydae is a refreshed memories of us together .. i used to envy other couples .. but now.. i dun .. cos i got a great girlfriend by the name of jolyn .. and i love her alot alot .. she is the best thing tat can ever happen to me .. =DD ...
lastly .. rumors or nort .. these doesnt affect us .. cos this love .. this relationship is abt us .. jolyn and kokyong .. we are the authors of our story .. so we control our own fate .. in the alaphaet .. the K will alwaes follow the J ... nothing can ever defy this fact .. and this is true to our love too .. i wanna shout to you .. i love you ..
~01805006~ ... going ever so strong ..
everytime i look at you .. i am filled with emotions .. the frail structure of you .. makes me wanna rush forward to give you a mega hug .. you stood there .. surrounded by friends.. yet .. i noe you are looking at me , cos .... i feel it .. when our eyes met .. i lost control of everything .. my legs jus strolled themselves forward .. my eyes jus transfixed themselves on ur eyes .. i knew .. and i known tat .. i just cant stop loving you ..
~i am so much in love~
you wondered .. is love everlasting ? .. you also wondered .. how strong is love ? .. you are hurt .. i feel frm deep within you .. you are bleeding .. i sense within you .. the tears are flowing .. i see within you .. you yearn for eternity .. which i will give you ..
HEAL .. i will heal you .. TRUST .. i will give you .. LOVE .. i will give you everlasting .. closed ur eyes and you will see me here .. rite here .. rite within the deepest of you .. cos .. i am the pillar within you ..
the pillar tat have your name engraved on .. the pillar tat will work miracles just to heal you .. to make you stand up agn .. and to make you smile lke you nv b4 .. turn ard .. take a rest .. cos i am behind you .. and when the rain is gone .. the rainbow's out .. i will take you .. and travel to the world of everlasting .. i knew you were sad .. cos i felt it too .. i sank myself too much into ur life .. you made ur prescence felt by giving me something .. something so special .. so uqiue tat makes me coming back to you .. tat is love .. even if the god oppose us .. even if fate condems us .. i will hold you tight .. i will hold you close and yelled to the heavens above .. tat .. you are mine .. cos .. you completed me .. much more den complete me .. you are the one i am going to live with .. and i am going to walk with .. and the one i cant live without .. i may be too young now .. a mere age of 17 saeing all these might nort be convincing .. people can sae my post is rubbish .. is jus a kid being a "adultwannabe" .. they can sae all they wan .. but they DO NOT QUESTION my affections and love for you .. even if god questions me .. i will tell him .. i will show him .. tat .. i live my life is for you ..
with ur back against mine .. i will turn ard and hug you frm behind .. no nid to sae words .. no nid to tell you things .. just closed our eyes and feel .. feel our heart beat tgt as one .. jus close ur eyes and you will see me rite in front of you .. giving you my shoulder .. and we will run thru the doors of fate and time tgt .. cos ..the pillar within you .. is urs .. for eternity .. =D ..
~the pillar within you .. is urs .. for eternity~
i regret ... i reli regretted ... i held my head up and stared to the cruel sky .. "Y ? .. Y do you have to let me meet her so much ltr .. y cant you let me be her first .. so she wouldnt be hurt .. so we can go thru life together for a couple of years more .. "...
~i wan you .. i reli wan you ..~
i am heavily addicted to a drug call love .. given by jolyn ... with the drug's effect everlasting .. XD .. i took this drug willingly .. i took this drug happily .. i knew tat i will take this kind of drug .. the moment i see you .. XDD .. dear !! .. i feel so xinfu now .. cos .. i get to see you for long hrs for 2 daes in a row !! .. now i am sitting in front of the computer .. thiinking of you .. and you . and you .. and the things we done tgt .. =) .. love is a river i wanna keep flowing .. life is a road .. i wanna go .. WITH you .. wa ?! .. jo !! .. you reli is my jie tuo for everything .. you can get me so high .. so sexually aroused .. so intense .. all cos of you .. the wae you kiss me .. you teased me .. you handle me .. i love them all .. reli i do .. erm .. i dun mind doing these dae in dae out .. haha .. wa ?! .. sounds perverted ?.. em .. i love you .. !!
i had gone on a journey tat do nort have a return ticket .. i have embarked on a trip wllingly .. eversince i laid my eyes on you .. i have gone the wae .. the road .. the journey .. of love .. when will missing someone will ever stop ? .. my thoughts will fly themselves to the sky .. to the nitez sky full of sttars .. i stand alone .. in the highest of the mountain .. but i am nort afraid .. cos i noe i am nort alone in my heart .. everytime i dun see you .. an aching feeling occurs in my heart .. its more painful than all i injuries i have ever had .. i close my eyes and its you i see .. i tried to sleep but its you i think .. i stared at the ceiling but its you i sensed .. i turned to hug at my bolster but its you my heart is yearning to hug .. my eyes got wet .. cos i am tinking of you .. my beloved you .. my girlfriend .. my dear .. my wife .. my baby .. my everything .. a tear flowed down my cheek .. its neither a tear of sadness .. or happiness .. but its a tear full of thoughts of the missing you .. you are the missing piece of puzzle tat completes my life .. i think back .. i recalled .. every bit of happenings with you makes me smile .. makes me so touched .. makes me think of you even more .. i wan you .. i reli wan you .. one dae .. i will take your hand and we will be gone lyk the wind .. together alwaes .. this i dream .. but for now .. i am contented to be filled with thoughts of you .. jo .. i miss you so so so much .. i closed my eyes .. and sleep .. with a smile on my face .. and a happi blissful image of us married .. in my heart .. XD
kokyong blogged .. and plege his love to jolyn tat he will love her foreva ..
its now 2am and a boy sat lonely on the balcony of his house .. the stars hung up in the sky and the moon ever so bright .. he couldnt get to sleep .. jus couldnt .. deep in thoughts the boy is .. but at the same time .. he was sad .. euu cannot see him cry .. but euu can hear the tears frm his heart ..
~its nv the same animore~
Nv have he ever thought of his leg dying on him.. nv once he had thought of something precious leaving him .. he took it for granted and now it paid .. he died as a status of a player ... NO 6 had died ..
~..the story ENDED .. ~
he started playing in sec sch .. he learned them all .. he slowly ade his wae to the top .. but onli for him .. to drop even further back below .. the link had broke .. the time had stopped .. freezed at the moment he hurted his knee .. a player's career ended .. in the testimony of a doc .. ~..he should stop plaeing for his own gud..~my heart is crying .. whenever i thought of tat boy .. i look at my closet of prized .. but all i ever wan is to step back on court .. there is a huge parts of dark clouds hanging over my heart .. i cannot see the light beneath tat tunnel .. i cannot reach for tat hand tat keep drifting further and further awae frm me .. i wanna scream .. i wanna shout .. but i jus lost my voice .. i wanna throw .. i wanna bang on the wall .. but i jus lost my hands .. i wanna run .. i wanna kick .. i wanna jump .. but i jus lost my legs .. i jus lost everything .. as a bballer .. i cannot rmb wad is a bballer .. i cannot recall wad a baller means .. i cannot feel .. myself as a bballer animore .. i didnt meant to lose it .. i reli didnt meant to give it up .. i reli didnt meant to be on the loser side .. i reli didnt meant .. to lose it ..
thunders and lightnings can be heard and seen in my overwhelming heart ..but i noe there is something waiting for me .. something tat nids to be done .. someone i am looking forward to .. someone i noe .. is by my side ..its euu i see .. its euu i feel .. its euu i hear .. and its euu whu leaned on my shoulder .. it made me feel wanted .. it made me feel i existed .. it made me feel i am being cared for .. it made me alive .. the wae euu smiled at me gave me the energy i nided to carry on .. its no ordinary smile .. its a smile tat i sensed frm within .. i noe euu looked at me with a loving view .. nort frm a view of pity .. but a view of care .. euu hugged me when it matters .. euu gave ma a slight push when needed .. euu are there when i turned behnd .. euu noe how much tat means to me .. tat euu show euu care .. i feel so weak inside .. so weak tat things jus dun look happi animore .. i wanted to close my eyes .. but there euu stood in front of me .. ~..euu was there when it matters..~ alone yet agn .. my heart stood alone agnst all the oncoming thoughts .. i nv knew nitez could be so long .. maybe cos my heart is darkening yet agn as the time goes by .. i miss euu .. i nided euu .. i noe euu are here .. in my heart .. tat is y i stared at the sky .. cos i noe .. we are linked .. in a wae ..
died on 22/04
tired .. exhausted .. these words are wad bestly describe me now .. i found out tat the teachers tat are offered to o6s23 is quite "top class" .. everyones out to kick our ass out .. to make us work .. to make us EXHAUSTED.. but i think the class have been great so far .. the spirit is there .. the bond is there .. and i think we can tapped ourselves on the back and sae .. "hey .. nice job for the bonding .. "
~o6s23 isnt jus a class..it has become my family too XD~
todae got the much anticipated inter class relay !! .. but we were seeded into the last round of heats .. so i sneak off to have a kickabt with the rvS .. and blah blah blah .. aniwae .. did enjoyed myself alot .. but i think the climax of the dae is the relay .. as it turns out .. everything was nort going according to plan .. everyclass had to be arranged in a veri different order ..starting with 5 gals follow up by 5 boys.. we ended out of the top3 .. but nevertheless i think the fun is still there .. sori guys for screwing up the whole thingy .. :( .. will make up to euu all next year..
wads wrong with mr lee ? .. its nort our fault tat there are so much work being tied to our hands ! .. he insist tat we should complete every qns of the tutorial .. haiz .. when will he realise our hard life .. or rather .. when will the teachers ever noe abt students lives nowadaes .. there we are sitting in the class .. staring hard at the board .. trying to pay attention but a swift glance ard tells euu tat some of the students had failed .. rather badly .. of cos !! .. ernest the slacker of the slackest was alwaes the first to lead the charge into dreamland .. izzit cos he is so stress at home tat he didnt have a gud sleep ? .. NAH .. i think he practises the art of sleeping more den all of us in the class .. LOL ..
aniwae .. life this week been a nice one .. i think i have alrdy accept the fate of being deem as small boi by the so called "big gals" in the class .. nvm .. i think they are veri caring .. XD .. OH YA !! .. i have a gay fren in class now .. rite ? .. justin dear ? .. inspired by
www.colinandkero.blogspot.com .. XD .. sori ernest .. i jus dun love euu anymore .. EEEEEEEE!!! .. so erxin ..
however back to serious stuff .. i swear i will nv let jo take a cab home at nitez alone ever agn .. so dangerous .. euu see .. even a gay will get weird inquiries frm a taxi driver... wad will happen to a gal .. ?! .. nv and nv agn .. unless i am with euu .. i noe everything euu done for me .. i reli noe .. and they are nort in vain .. trust me ..
~love is a road we choose tgt .. not me .. not euu .. is us .. our story .. ~
helo diary .. lonely is the word to describe me now .. maybe is due to the fact i kept listening to sad love songs.. now there is this controverial blog abt gayism which everyone online is toking abt .. i personally do nort have any particular discriminating views abt gays .. but i think they should nort be shouting all these out .. its lyk they trying to change a new world order .. to promote gays and les .. which i dunno y ? .. i think they are trying to gain fame for themselves ? .. lolz .. kkz .. enuff of this la .. XD
todae is the 17 !! .. which means i am gonna be with dear jo for 2 months le .. though it feels lyk 4 months had alrdy passed .. maybe due to the fact that so mani things had happened ?.. diary oh diary .. i asked euu someting .. wads wrong with kissing and holding hands in the school ?.. its nort like kissing will give ur gf a baby .. neither do holding hands is a crime rite ?
.. "kissing is the starting relationship tat will lead to a sexual relationship.. " -unknown#123
.. "DO YOU NOE how mani ppl in ur young age have alrdy been thru the trumas of abortions?!" -unknown#123
oh ya .. fellow saints .. if euu ever wanna see the principal straight without even hafta line up .. jus kiss another fellow saints and euu will find urself at the hotseat oppo her ..
my life in sch so far has been fun .. filled with love .. laughter .. and frenz !! .. however i am blessed with a grp of teachers ever ready to go into retirement with them having a foot alrdy in the old folks home .. haiz ..
"DUN GIMME TROUBLE !!" - mrs lee * EEEE * (my ct.. a troublesome teacher)
"I MARKED EUU DW !! " - mrs chan *CHAM* (my math cher .. a CUTE cher )
"ernest.. remain standing! - mr lee *EEEE 2* (a dickhead..i dunno wad else to descibe him)
i mus give loads of credits to my frenz in my present sch now .. they are jus so caring .. yiXiang .. euu should have alrdy witness our compassion and friendship alrdy .. XD .. oh yar .. i found out tat frm the 5 gals in my class .. apart frm chiewyong .. i thnk NANA and annabel are the more friendly ones .. esp annabel .. i think she got the big sister image.. euu noe .. those kinda barney feeling which make euu feel lyk she is a gud caring sis !! .. haha .. o6s23 .. euu rox ..
darling dear !! .. i wanna tell euu tat i have nv regret anything.. euu are my everything .. the one i gave everything up for .. i love euu ..
when its time to move on .. its time to move on .. there is nothing call reliving the past .. jus lyk us .. we grow older by the time ticks .. we arent tat naive kid no more ..
you stepped into my life so deep within no one have ever step into b4 ..
you brought me things tat i have nv experience b4 ..
you gave me all i needed ..
you became part of me and for this i hate you ..cos you made me afraid .. afraid i would lose you one dae ..
you made me realise wad a selfish person i am..how possessive one can be ..you change me .. to a person i have nv seen myself b4 ..
you invaded my thoughts .. controlled my mind .. and captured my heart
bonded by the heart .. ringed tgt by our ring .. we will neva part ..
my hand will nv released its grip on euu .. it will onli get tighten by the time ..inthe midst of all this .. i jus wanna sae .. i love you and no matter wad happens .. i will be by ur side .. and will nv let euu drop a single tear agn ..
In the alaphaet,the K will alwaes follow the J .. and nothing in the world can opposed tat .. two hearts, one beat .. two lives, one story .. once tgt,nva apart .. i am sorry to sae .. tat no one else can understand wad i sae .. and wad i type here .. cos onli euu and me speak the common langauge .. the common tongue .. and tat is love ..
~evol si reve os teews,01802006-01804eva~
helo diary .. haha .. euu are officially one year old !! ... XD .. and i am glad to sae tat i have nort forgotten euu one bit .. hahas ..
let me see .. i still had loads of hw left undone and untouched so i reckoned i should jus sumarise my entries frm now on .. hope the ppl reading this would nort be bored .. =) .. aniwae .. i haf been seeing jo alot in this week .. partly due to something happen btw her and ther .. though its nort nice to sae this but i actually quite lyk it .. haha .. cos i am able to see her evry morning .. den sometimes after sch .. XD ..
my math lessons with mrs *CHAM* haben change one bit .. and i think my relationship with her is getting more *CHAM* .. i think the rest of the class thought so too .. jus the other dae she used her favourite line on ernst .. "I MARKED EUU DW for nort copying anithing" .. and left me and weiying sitting there giggling .. however .. seriously .. i have to find a math tution !! .. and fast if i wanna do well for my july exams ... as my math is getting more and more *CHAM*..
at first .. i thought i would lyk gp lessons after my first meeting with my tutor .. but things wouldnt as sweet as her appearances .. a feedback frm joshua .. a fellow saint frm her ex class .. tat she gives loads and loads of project workz .. which i think its true .. jus after the recent project she gave us another one .. but this time my prject grping is much much worst ..
jon(a 150 tallie with strong language ability) ,
weiying (my best pal in class .. alwaes help each other out de ) ,
me XD ..
ernst (OH NO!! .. the slacker of the slackers), and whu else .. ?
.. i cannot rmb le .. haha .. hope we are able to ride thru our latest project .. but i guess we would end up plaeing bball or toking or singing songs whenever we have a get tgt .. lolz ..
oh yar .. the recent fri i enjoyed an entire dae of doind sports .. so much tat my left leg alwaes collasped ... erm .. during pe .. i finally got an eye opening to bob's soccer ability .. haha . euu should jus see him plae and google at his slick movements .. but still my team won .. thnz to early goals frm weiying and me and elson .. but there was this part when i shot the ball goal bound .. the girls namely .. chiewyong .. NANA .. and annabel tried to stop it by pulling dw the entire goalposts !! .. it was a funny sight looking at them screaming and pulling dw the posts AFTER the ball went in .. hahaz .. next after sch .. we plaed at a cc nearby after sch while waiting for audrey .. and xiaowei said the plump opponent looked extremely murderous when i dribbled and teased him with the ball .. they said the gal whu was watching us plaeing is his gf ? .. yucks .. haha .. next we went to hearlland mall there to slack and we end up plaeing bball agn at the cc there ? .. sigh .. bball bball .. .. it is fun but tiring .. lolz .. den xiaowei was googling at this blue jersey guy ... admiring his body ? .. wahaha .. OH YAR !! ... there was this part when the payalebar team is training den the coach was commenting on some players whu couldnt meet his demands by saeing .. "too fat !! " ... wad the ? .. den the wae he said it is damn funny .. 'TOO FAT " .. wahahahah .. it was amusing seeing them train .. but the problem is .. the coach himself is fat too ... lolz .. i dun lyk ppl to sae other ppl's weakness .. i think its veri wrong .. its nort their choice they wanna be lidat .. haiz ..
i realise watching movie on weekends is a big nono .. cos the tickets price is extremely expensive .. next tme i will watch on mon or tues or wed or thurs .. but nv on weekends agn if possible .. hahas ... but still .. if watching with jo i dun mind the price XD .. haha .. yest we went to city hall agn .. saw mark lee ? .. haha .. but the first part of the dae was abit tense .. i lyked the second part of the dae alot alot nicer .. XD .. i realised in relationships .. it is veh imprtant to clarify things out .. esp euu muz alwaes stress tat ur partner is veh important to euu .. =) .. although i am onli attached for a month half .. but it alrdy felt lyk ages .. but time is nort a factor as i am confident tat i am still veri much in love with euu .. i mus sae .. jo had alrdy become a big factor in my current life .. lyk she is the main character instead of myself .. ? .. i mean euu muz had this feeling b4 when there are times euu wil alwaes be trying to locate a person frm the oppo sex .. to try to see wad he is doing ... which is excatly the case with me EVERYDAE .. and EVERYSEC ... i felt i am going crazy .. crazy over euu .. but i think i started becoming crazy .. ever since i first laid my eyes on euu .. XD .. i jus wanna tell jo tat .. i love euu .. love is ever so sweet ..
~jealousy is a sign tat shows i am deeply in love with euu .. and tat is y .. i am jealous over everything~
thnz thnz cream!! .. haha .. u made this blog possible !! XD .. haha .. xie xie ni .. i will try to maintain this blog kae .. this online dairy for as long as i can POSSIBLE manage .. =) .. see i so nice .. delicate my first ever post to u on this newly made bloggy !! .. haha
YAY !! .. i am still so excited abt this blog .. although my past experiences tell me tat this blog is gonna wither off in a matter of months or maybe daes ? .. but still .. i will reli TRY .. maybe ANNABEL and NANA (Lena) .. were rite .. i might be a small boi deep inside .. cos i am so high up such a small thing but still .. i shall defend myself as i used to ....... I AM NO SMALL BOY !! .. haha ..
wa .. its so boring on a sundae evening though i am supposed to complete my tutorials which has been laying untouched for the past 2 daes .. some even hafta be handed in by tml .. but lyk i said to the two big gals .. i haf concerts to run to during weekends .. haha .. nah .. jking .. trying to make up one excuse for my laziness .. XD..
missing someone is a sign of falling in love .. -xiaowei's msn nick .. well i think its hell loads true cos i am missing u awfully now .. haha .. i think i got such a illness tat alwaes come weekly .. alwaes falling on a sundae .. cos its alwaes the case tat i am nort able to see u on this dae =( .. but still .. the thought of able to see eu tml gives me something to smile at ..
~if parting is the start of my misery.. i would keep eu by my side and nv part at all~
well .. tml got loads of lessons lining up for me .. hope i am able to scrape thru all of it .. hopefully able to steal some glances at jo .. haha .. but my dae ends with math tutorial .. and having the lady lecturer (wads her name agn ) as my tutor worsen things .. i shall describe my first ever encounter with her .. my class had nort even setlled dw and yet she alrdy started staring and scanning thru each of our faces .. YES !! .. STARING and SCANNING .. u noe .. those kindas stare u alwaes got frm adults whenever u done something they highly disapprove of .. well .. i think her powers of sending chills dw ppl's spine can be comparable to miss kae and silence .. haha .. sssshhhh .. beta keep my posts outta teacher's attention or else the next thing u will see over the newspapers and online discussion will be me !! .. nah .. jus jking .. whu would come and look at this boring posts aniwae ?? ... haha ..
yest april's fool dae .. and i totally forget abt it .. so when cream started my dae by sending a sms waking me up .. "i am now laying in a hospital .. THNZ TO YOU" .. i was totally tricked by her .. !! .. wad dropping into a canal half the size of the one at sajc !! .. god .. i was totally taken in by her .. sobz .. but nevertheless i got one back at her .. XD .. haha .. went out with jo yest too .. and she tried to gang up with theresa to tricked me abt something i dunno wad it had to do with me .. which backfire their plan .. oh yar !! .. ice age 2 was damn nice .. funny at times and filled with humors .. but watching urself proves beta den me describing it here .. haha .. XD .. kkxz .. i think i shall updated all this ltr in the nitx .. all some other dae .. ? .. em .. signing off here ........
~01802006-01804eva~
haha ... my excitment over my new blog continues until todae !! .. haha .. i am impressed by myself XD .. haha ..
well .. todae was quite a boring dae .. but i manage to keep myself awake for the entire sch dae ! .. it seems tat without bball .. i am doing so much beta .. can concentrate more on lessons .. and catch more of the teachers' teaching .. =) .. i officially DISLIKE my math tutor !! .. i think b4 long everyone of the students frm s23 and s27 will be attenting math tution on our own.. lolz .. but i muz admit tat for the entire of the last period .. which is also math .. tat i wasnt paying any single attention on the math tutor at all.. oh !! .. i found out her name .. -mrs 'cHANT' .. haha .. oopz .. aniwae .. i was staring hard at the tutor .. u noe .. those eyes widening stares .. couldnt catch ani balls in the lesson .. den suddenly the gc (graphic calcultor) part came into the limelight and i fondly took out my 1 hr old new gc .. wow !! .. although it seems lyk i am the onli one using the oldest model .. TI-83 .. it however still costs me $109.00 !! .. imagine all tat being converted to movie tickets .. i could have a movie maraton with jo for the entire month !! .. haiz .. as the old words saes .. wads done cannot be undone .. gc in my bag .. money in the seller's bag .. nonrefundable .. haiz ..
~wads done cannot be undone~
i stood at the fourth floor .. with my eyes transfixed on a small figure walking outta sch .. i knew she was someone i noe definitely .. but it was the sudden increased in my beating of my heart tat i knew it was eu .. i putted on my specs .. gave a hard stare .. and wished i nv did .. it hurt me .. even if its a little .. but still .. i believe u haf ur reasons .. and u did .. XD .. haha .. be careful with ur back will ya .. cos seeing u in pain hurts me damn loads !! ... i am serious .. and if eu r reading my current post .. i wanna sae to eu .. i love eu .. and todae i reli reli had a hard time missing eu .. cos i alwaes get to see you after sch .. no matter wad .. but todae .. after the morning .. i couldnt even sense ur prescence ... let even see eu .. X( .. i was jus stoning there in sch .. thinking abt .. "oh god!! .. i miss you .. i reli miss you !! .. plz come back to sch and let me steal a glance .. at least maybe jus a gudbye wave ?.. haiz .. wo chao xiang ni de lo .. ..." yar .. maybe my heart is tearing cos suddenly i jus dun feel lyk doing anything at all .. nort even basketball will appeal to me .. honestly .. the roles of us have changed significantly .. i am no longer tat strong pillar tat will support eu .. its jus an excuse to be abel to stay by ur side .. in fact .. u r the pillar tat supports and pulled the strings in my heart .. cos whenever this particular pillar is gone .. nothing will turn out alright .. but hearing ur voice once agn over the phone was lyk throwing a lifeline to me .. XD for this .. i thnz you for ending my dae with a BEAutiful rainbow ... XD
~its euu i think abt dae and nitez..its also euu tat brought a rainbow to my life.. XD~
i once thought i was a math student .. whu is and are a veri ethu math student until this veri dae which i found out math is too boring !! .. also with the fact tat loads of my frenz r watching the campus superstar .. yawns*.. now at nitez le .. i do until qs4 .. ltr hafta proceed to chinese compo .. writing someting abt a bear ?! .. haha..
i jus realise tat .. sometimes ppl tend to think too much .. okie .. nort sometimes .. but everytime .. i try to restrain myself but i counldnt help it .. eu noe there r times where ur ec .. or bf / gf / crush was seated jus behind eu .. with some of her frenz .. u jus couldnt help but keep turning .. trying to catch her attention or trying to ctch a glismp of wad she is doing ? .. sigh .. i so hate myself .. =( .. see .. this is wad i call thinking too much le .. but at least having all these typed dw might giime some kinda release .. well .. i hope i can reli do well in my studies .. cos jus now i was chatting with joan online .. andthose tests and exams jus freaked my out !! .. though she sae promotion was easy for our sch .. but to me i think its lyk climbing a huge mountain .. but i am nort gonna give up .. cos lyk jo said .. i got the bball spirit .. XD ..
~never sae die ~
kkz .. guess i hafta jus get dw and start writing my compo .. and hopefully god will see me thru this year !! .. haha .. cya soon .. diary ..
~01802006-01804eva~